“Be the reason someone smiles. Be the reason someone feels loved and believes in the goodness in people.”
-Roy T. Bennett, The Light in the Heart
Since the beginning of last school year, we've really been hitting hard with our kids on the importance of being kind to people. They would come home from school or extracurricular activities and tell us about terrible things that other kids would say or do. It made us sad to see how kids were taking joy in hurting each other. The "protection" that is afforded people on the internet has replaced civil discourse with Neanderthalic hate-slinging, and it's bleeding over to how children are interacting with each other in person. Any small difference is met with vitriol, leading kids (and people in general) to hide their uniqueness.
About four months ago, my (Lauren) son, Isak, was diagnosed with Level 1 Autism Spectrum Disorder - and from that, our world has both been flipped on its head and been expanded in the best way possible. There are things that I have noticed since he was 2 (he is now 12) that I would mention to people close to me, which were always met with, "No, he's way too social/smart/verbal/etc to be Autistic." None of those things are mutually exclusive or even necessary for an Autism diagnosis - Autism is a difference in how the brain processes everything. It is no better or worse than the way an allistic person's brain processes.
Having an official diagnosis has helped us become more understanding of Isak's needs and responses. Until we pulled him out of public school at the end of 5th grade, he was frequently the target of bullying - and usually because of situations involving him crying. I always loved that he allowed himself to have emotional responses and my husband and I never told him that he wasn't allowed to cry. Looking back, it wasn't always him being a sensitive kid, but it was frequently that he was completely overstimulated in that environment, and there would be one thing that pushed that overstimulation over the edge.
I was talking to one of my friends who happened to mention that she loved watching the Netflix show, "Love on the Spectrum." I don't usually like most reality shows, and dating shows definitely aren't my jam; however, she told me I had to watch a couple episodes before I made a decision. I binged both seasons in two days before going to Taylor's house for the weekend. When I told her we had to watch it, she had the same hesitation that I did at first, but eventually agreed to watch it with me.
There were so many times that we paused the show just so we could talk about how amazing it was and how beautifully everything was presented. The show follows a handful of individuals on the spectrum who are wanting to find love. Bebs...the absolute care that was taken to film this was amazing. Taylor and I have talked for collective hours at this point about how unique each person in the show is, how each person communicated and/or how their families and friends communicated with them, how much less judgment they have toward others, and how the majority of people in society have so many misconceptions about what it means to be Autistic.
All of that led us to talk about how much different the world would be if we stopped making judgments of other people before we ever know anything about them. What would it be like if we asked permission to be in another person's physical space? What would it be like if we stopped caring about "cool" points based on exclusion and started caring about inclusion? What would it be like if instead of making fun of people's differences, we embraced their uniqueness and reveled in the extra color they bring to the rainbow of humanity?
What would it be like if everyone would just share their kindness and love?
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Our August Favorites
Book
Sincerely, Your Autistic Child by Autistic Women and Nonbinary Network
The Reason I Jump by Naoki Higashida
Music
Hypnotic Decompression - ApothoGothic August Playlist
Film/Television
Love on the Spectrum (on Netflix)
I watched the show about Temple Grandin. It was a real insight into what and how people with autism have to deal with. Since there are so many forms and degrees of autism it is hard to pin point what each individual is dealing with. I will finish this tomorrow since it is getting dark and I cannot see my keyboard.